Writer’s Strike

Poetry — Noah Lyon on December 25, 2007 at 10:35 am

I’m on a writer’s strike.
The internet is TV.
I write on the computer and then I punch it.
Strike one for me. Pitching great TV.

Growing concern with stuff…

Op-Ed, Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on November 22, 2007 at 8:55 am

The presidential debates haven’t really touched on the issue of stuff. They’ve touched on little Timmy. Inappropriately, I might add. Like 5 plus 9 equals thirteen Timmy clones, but I don’t believe there is enough empirical evidence to prove that that stuff is to blame for stem-cell research. But stuff is definitely an issue when it comes to global warmalism. Where does Hillary Clinton stand on stuff… On a helicopter? Has Barrack Obama raised the issue of black stuff? Rudy Guiliani, who is definitely a queer, hasn’t mentioned stuff once. Stuff is everywhere. Open your eyes to the facts people! Stuff isn’t going anywhere any time soon! And sooner or later stuff is going effect you and everyone else with stuff. So you’d better start thinking about stuff… before stuff starts thinking about you.

What’s ”up” with Ted?

Poetry — Noah Lyon on November 22, 2007 at 8:36 am

Ted Demme is Ted.
Ted Demme isn’t Lemmy.
But He has a motörhead.
A motör-shaped head.

Terrence Bumblebee

Quote this and say a genius wrote it... — Noah Lyon on October 11, 2007 at 4:49 pm

Terrence Bumblebee had trouble with his motor engine. It was the motor engine that made the world spin on its axis. His neighbor, Donald Doucheington, had told the whole neighborhood that the axis was evil. Then one day, while Terrence was on his way to meet Grandpa at the grocery store, he smashed in Donald Doucheington’s mailbox with a sledgehammer. The next day, when the mailman came to Donald Doucheington’s house to deliver a package, all he found was a big pile of doody where the mailbox used to be. The mailman set the doody on fire and ran away. When Donald Doucheington smelled the fire, he ran outside and stomped out the fire, getting shit all over his big clown shoes. Right then, Terrence Bumblebee returned from his sleepover party with Grandpa at the grocery store & saw Donald Doucheington standing there smelling like turds. Terrence laughed and said “Ha Ha! The world is going to stop spinning now!” Then it did & they all flew off into outer-space.

Nutty Koo Koo Super King of New York

Poetry — Noah Lyon on June 13, 2007 at 9:43 am

It’s the kind of place that makes
a bum, feel like a king
And it makes a king
feel like some nutty koo koo
super king.

Heroin Cow

Poetry — Noah Lyon on June 13, 2007 at 9:39 am

heroin cow – he’s on drugs
I said do you want beef?
He said What What!!!
so I stabbed him in his butt
with his own syringe

Transcribing the internet

Poetry, Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on April 29, 2007 at 3:58 am

So many smells

  1. where do i begin
  2. how many are there
  3. what is it
  4. furthermore
  5. and then
  6. more stuff
  7. where the fuck are all these numbers coming from?


What’s up with teeth?

Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it... — Noah Lyon on April 29, 2007 at 3:55 am

Does any body even care about this sport anymore? I mean come on! Really what’s up with the ballgame.

The bald game.

Rub two heads together.

Mike Tyson & The Game.

Whoever gets the most facial tattoos wins.

Ode to Odell

Poetry — Noah Lyon on March 24, 2007 at 10:48 pm

Stands Odell
With those Knives
He wants to sell
He could easily take your life
With a big bright shiny knife

Feb. 24th 2007 – 3:AM

Ancient Wisdom, Poetry — Noah Lyon on March 11, 2007 at 8:33 pm

True Farts
Should not be

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