little baby Jesus Internet

Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it..., Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on December 20, 2011 at 6:54 am

Where have all the internets gone?
Have smoked I them in my bong?
Once an email, always an email.
Today I recieved an email from a shemale.
The service provider stepped on my toe. I didn’t happen to like it very much.
SOPA? What’s that? A bill? A five dollar bill? with Abraham Lincoln on it wearing a hat?


December 25th, the birth, the great day.

Thank you Jesus,
Thank you little baby Jesus Internet.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Sports-related Injury

Op-Ed, Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it..., Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on May 10, 2010 at 4:30 am

Barf in a shoe. Wear it to a Mets game. Call it your Barf Shoe. Call in sick to work. They will never know that you were at a sporting event. The smell of the Barf shoe will cover your tracks.

What’s up with stuff?

Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it... — Noah Lyon on March 18, 2008 at 5:18 pm

What’s up with stuff?
Does it make you feel tough? Want to shove it in your muff?
Can you eat it? If it were a cookie? Hairy like a wookie?
Harry like Whodini? Where is it?
What’s up with stuff?

Terrence Bumblebee

Quote this and say a genius wrote it... — Noah Lyon on October 11, 2007 at 4:49 pm

Terrence Bumblebee had trouble with his motor engine. It was the motor engine that made the world spin on its axis. His neighbor, Donald Doucheington, had told the whole neighborhood that the axis was evil. Then one day, while Terrence was on his way to meet Grandpa at the grocery store, he smashed in Donald Doucheington’s mailbox with a sledgehammer. The next day, when the mailman came to Donald Doucheington’s house to deliver a package, all he found was a big pile of doody where the mailbox used to be. The mailman set the doody on fire and ran away. When Donald Doucheington smelled the fire, he ran outside and stomped out the fire, getting shit all over his big clown shoes. Right then, Terrence Bumblebee returned from his sleepover party with Grandpa at the grocery store & saw Donald Doucheington standing there smelling like turds. Terrence laughed and said “Ha Ha! The world is going to stop spinning now!” Then it did & they all flew off into outer-space.

What’s up with teeth?

Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it... — Noah Lyon on April 29, 2007 at 3:55 am

Does any body even care about this sport anymore? I mean come on! Really what’s up with the ballgame.

The bald game.

Rub two heads together.

Mike Tyson & The Game.

Whoever gets the most facial tattoos wins.

Jimmy Carter

Quote this and say a genius wrote it..., Stories — Noah Lyon on February 2, 2007 at 11:34 pm

“I wish I were President. I’ll be the greatest Mayor.” Everybody will love me as President. He is a great mayor. He likes being in New York. He doesn’t want to leave New York. So he becomes President in Puerto Rico. He sees a person flying in the air like Captain Superman. He sees underwears flying like white eagles. He goes to the artic circles and sees a girl in a red bikini. He wonders what that person was. It was Luke Duke in the bikini. He calls the lady and finds out it’s Ronald Reagan in the bikini now. He finds out he’s in the 76 Garden in Puerto Rico, There’s a fire and his wearwear burns. He looks down the street and sees Ronald Reagan in a dress with his wife. His wife told him that Jimmy Carter’s underwears were burned and he said “I’m glad that his underwears burned.” Jimmy Carter yelled, “Ronald Reagan is in a dress.” Ronald Reagan says “I’m gay. That’s why I wear dresses and bikinis.” Jimmy Carter punched Ronald Reagan and knocked him out cold.

Louis Oquendo
4th Grade

© NOAH LYON | Retard Riot | RRReviews | RRRiting | Music | Movies | Books | Buttons | Drawings | Paintings | Photos | Shows |