Exlamation point (fuck you!)

Op-Ed, Stories, Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on May 4, 2010 at 11:21 pm

Okay, let’s get one thing clear. Smog. Okay, now that the smog is clear can someone do something about the goddamn fog? I’ve been wearing my foghat all week. There is only so much “slow riding” and “taking it easy” one can do before they blow a gasket. Which reminds me, I’m late for my basket weaving class. That’s gonna be my ticket outta this dump. With a hand woven basket on my head there’s no telling what I could do. For one thing, this stnking fog won’t be able to sink it’s talons any deeper into my skull. Then I’ll kick this fucking fog’s ass from here to Montana. Karate kick a slurpee and hi-five a grandma. Straight up and down, do the funky chicken an’ I’m out. Peace & Hallalujah!

A Play (2005)

Poetry, Stories — Noah Lyon on March 1, 2007 at 4:32 pm

5 dudes enter the stage.

Romulus. Batman. Ted. Howie & Detective.

They all start humming. Somebody throws a toaster oven. Howie shouts, “Screen saver!” at Batman who is using the toaster to set fire to an American Flag. Somebody shouts Fire in a crowded theater. But the theaters not really crowded because nobody goes to theater.

A dog runs across the stage.

Detective explains copyright law.

Ted & Detective talk about Tux Dog in interrogation room.

Black people come in and give everyone props.

Romulus really likes falafels & rolls them across the stage occasionally.
Batman beats him for wasting food.

Mary Magdalene shows Ted the�??????

Jimmy Carter

Quote this and say a genius wrote it..., Stories — Noah Lyon on February 2, 2007 at 11:34 pm

“I wish I were President. I’ll be the greatest Mayor.” Everybody will love me as President. He is a great mayor. He likes being in New York. He doesn’t want to leave New York. So he becomes President in Puerto Rico. He sees a person flying in the air like Captain Superman. He sees underwears flying like white eagles. He goes to the artic circles and sees a girl in a red bikini. He wonders what that person was. It was Luke Duke in the bikini. He calls the lady and finds out it’s Ronald Reagan in the bikini now. He finds out he’s in the 76 Garden in Puerto Rico, There’s a fire and his wearwear burns. He looks down the street and sees Ronald Reagan in a dress with his wife. His wife told him that Jimmy Carter’s underwears were burned and he said “I’m glad that his underwears burned.” Jimmy Carter yelled, “Ronald Reagan is in a dress.” Ronald Reagan says “I’m gay. That’s why I wear dresses and bikinis.” Jimmy Carter punched Ronald Reagan and knocked him out cold.

Louis Oquendo
4th Grade

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