little baby Jesus Internet

Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it..., Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on December 20, 2011 at 6:54 am

Where have all the internets gone?
Have smoked I them in my bong?
Once an email, always an email.
Today I recieved an email from a shemale.
The service provider stepped on my toe. I didn’t happen to like it very much.
SOPA? What’s that? A bill? A five dollar bill? with Abraham Lincoln on it wearing a hat?

EVERYBODY DOWNLOAD THE ENTIRE INTERNET ALL AT THE SAME TIME THEN WE WILL ALL HAVE THE BEST IPAD PARTY EVER

December 25th, the birth, the great day.

Thank you Jesus,
Thank you little baby Jesus Internet.

Most of All

Poetry — Noah Lyon on May 14, 2010 at 10:19 pm

At best we are just human. Sometimes we forget the tragedies one must bear in life. The important thong to remember is Sisqo’s thong song.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Sports-related Injury

Op-Ed, Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it..., Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on May 10, 2010 at 4:30 am

Barf in a shoe. Wear it to a Mets game. Call it your Barf Shoe. Call in sick to work. They will never know that you were at a sporting event. The smell of the Barf shoe will cover your tracks.

Everytime I think of stuff

Ancient Wisdom, Poetry — Noah Lyon on February 24, 2009 at 10:50 am

Every time I think of stuff
I think about what it is
Is it a moose?
Or is a pig?
Or is it some kind of angry pig-moose?

That’s what it is not is.

The Blob of Internet Street

Poetry — Noah Lyon on July 22, 2008 at 5:53 pm

I’m not blogging.
I’m blobbing.
Blobbing up and down,
the sweaty sidewalk
of Internet Street.

Sharpies are the best.

Poetry — Noah Lyon on May 16, 2008 at 11:45 pm

I love them.
Dear Sharpie company
I would love to endorse your product.
Sometime I get Sharpie on my face
When I am drawing
Oh
Dear Sharpie
I can’t throw you out
Where did you come from
Some kind of super marker planet where everything is cool and awesome and permanent.
Sometimes Sharpies go around in a circle
Chanting
They tell me to draw things.
Terrible things
And funny things
And the best things.
If Sharpies were a food
They would be the best food.
Black Sharpies turn grey over time
It takes years for a Sharpie to die
Literally years
If I had to have some part of my body replaced with an inanimate object
It would be a Sharpie
Hopefully it would be one of my fingers and not my penis.

Rain

Ancient Wisdom, Poetry — Noah Lyon on May 12, 2008 at 6:13 am

Rain.
What is it and why is it here?
Is it God’s poop?
Who gives a shit.

Rain.

What’s up with stuff?

Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it... — Noah Lyon on March 18, 2008 at 5:18 pm

What’s up with stuff?
Does it make you feel tough? Want to shove it in your muff?
Can you eat it? If it were a cookie? Hairy like a wookie?
Harry like Whodini? Where is it?
What’s up with stuff?

Writer’s Strike

Poetry — Noah Lyon on December 25, 2007 at 10:35 am

I’m on a writer’s strike.
The internet is TV.
I write on the computer and then I punch it.
Strike one for me. Pitching great TV.

What’s ”up” with Ted?

Poetry — Noah Lyon on November 22, 2007 at 8:36 am

Ted Demme is Ted.
Ted Demme isn’t Lemmy.
But He has a motörhead.
A motör-shaped head.

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