The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Sports-related Injury

Op-Ed, Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it..., Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on May 10, 2010 at 4:30 am

Barf in a shoe. Wear it to a Mets game. Call it your Barf Shoe. Call in sick to work. They will never know that you were at a sporting event. The smell of the Barf shoe will cover your tracks.

Exlamation point (fuck you!)

Op-Ed, Stories, Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on May 4, 2010 at 11:21 pm

Okay, let’s get one thing clear. Smog. Okay, now that the smog is clear can someone do something about the goddamn fog? I’ve been wearing my foghat all week. There is only so much “slow riding” and “taking it easy” one can do before they blow a gasket. Which reminds me, I’m late for my basket weaving class. That’s gonna be my ticket outta this dump. With a hand woven basket on my head there’s no telling what I could do. For one thing, this stnking fog won’t be able to sink it’s talons any deeper into my skull. Then I’ll kick this fucking fog’s ass from here to Montana. Karate kick a slurpee and hi-five a grandma. Straight up and down, do the funky chicken an’ I’m out. Peace & Hallalujah!

Growing concern with stuff…

Op-Ed, Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on November 22, 2007 at 8:55 am

The presidential debates haven’t really touched on the issue of stuff. They’ve touched on little Timmy. Inappropriately, I might add. Like 5 plus 9 equals thirteen Timmy clones, but I don’t believe there is enough empirical evidence to prove that that stuff is to blame for stem-cell research. But stuff is definitely an issue when it comes to global warmalism. Where does Hillary Clinton stand on stuff… On a helicopter? Has Barrack Obama raised the issue of black stuff? Rudy Guiliani, who is definitely a queer, hasn’t mentioned stuff once. Stuff is everywhere. Open your eyes to the facts people! Stuff isn’t going anywhere any time soon! And sooner or later stuff is going effect you and everyone else with stuff. So you’d better start thinking about stuff… before stuff starts thinking about you.


Op-Ed, Poetry — Noah Lyon on March 11, 2007 at 8:29 pm

TV is so smart. It’s the closest thing to God that I ever met. It gives AIDS to everyone on the planet. Visual AIDS.

January 18th, 2007

Op-Ed, Poetry, Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on January 30, 2007 at 12:19 am

Dear Computer,

I hope you get a virus.

your pal, Greg

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