At best we are just human. Sometimes we forget the tragedies one must bear in life. The important thong to remember is Sisqo’s thong song.

Barf in a shoe. Wear it to a Mets game. Call it your Barf Shoe. Call in sick to work. They will never know that you were at a sporting event. The smell of the Barf shoe will cover your tracks.

Okay, let’s get one thing clear. Smog. Okay, now that the smog is clear can someone do something about the goddamn fog? I’ve been wearing my foghat all week. There is only so much “slow riding” and “taking it easy” one can do before they blow a gasket. Which reminds me, I’m late for my basket weaving class. That’s gonna be my ticket outta this dump. With a hand woven basket on my head there’s no telling what I could do. For one thing, this stnking fog won’t be able to sink it’s talons any deeper into my skull. Then I’ll kick this fucking fog’s ass from here to Montana. Karate kick a slurpee and hi-five a grandma. Straight up and down, do the funky chicken an’ I’m out. Peace & Hallalujah!