little baby Jesus Internet

Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it..., Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on December 20, 2011 at 6:54 am

Where have all the internets gone?
Have smoked I them in my bong?
Once an email, always an email.
Today I recieved an email from a shemale.
The service provider stepped on my toe. I didn’t happen to like it very much.
SOPA? What’s that? A bill? A five dollar bill? with Abraham Lincoln on it wearing a hat?


December 25th, the birth, the great day.

Thank you Jesus,
Thank you little baby Jesus Internet.

Most of All

Poetry — Noah Lyon on May 14, 2010 at 10:19 pm

At best we are just human. Sometimes we forget the tragedies one must bear in life. The important thong to remember is Sisqo’s thong song.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Sports-related Injury

Op-Ed, Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it..., Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on May 10, 2010 at 4:30 am

Barf in a shoe. Wear it to a Mets game. Call it your Barf Shoe. Call in sick to work. They will never know that you were at a sporting event. The smell of the Barf shoe will cover your tracks.

Exlamation point (fuck you!)

Op-Ed, Stories, Wordly Matters — Noah Lyon on May 4, 2010 at 11:21 pm

Okay, let’s get one thing clear. Smog. Okay, now that the smog is clear can someone do something about the goddamn fog? I’ve been wearing my foghat all week. There is only so much “slow riding” and “taking it easy” one can do before they blow a gasket. Which reminds me, I’m late for my basket weaving class. That’s gonna be my ticket outta this dump. With a hand woven basket on my head there’s no telling what I could do. For one thing, this stnking fog won’t be able to sink it’s talons any deeper into my skull. Then I’ll kick this fucking fog’s ass from here to Montana. Karate kick a slurpee and hi-five a grandma. Straight up and down, do the funky chicken an’ I’m out. Peace & Hallalujah!

Everytime I think of stuff

Ancient Wisdom, Poetry — Noah Lyon on February 24, 2009 at 10:50 am

Every time I think of stuff
I think about what it is
Is it a moose?
Or is a pig?
Or is it some kind of angry pig-moose?

That’s what it is not is.

The Blob of Internet Street

Poetry — Noah Lyon on July 22, 2008 at 5:53 pm

I’m not blogging.
I’m blobbing.
Blobbing up and down,
the sweaty sidewalk
of Internet Street.

Sharpies are the best.

Poetry — Noah Lyon on May 16, 2008 at 11:45 pm

I love them.
Dear Sharpie company
I would love to endorse your product.
Sometime I get Sharpie on my face
When I am drawing
Dear Sharpie
I can’t throw you out
Where did you come from
Some kind of super marker planet where everything is cool and awesome and permanent.
Sometimes Sharpies go around in a circle
They tell me to draw things.
Terrible things
And funny things
And the best things.
If Sharpies were a food
They would be the best food.
Black Sharpies turn grey over time
It takes years for a Sharpie to die
Literally years
If I had to have some part of my body replaced with an inanimate object
It would be a Sharpie
Hopefully it would be one of my fingers and not my penis.


Ancient Wisdom, Poetry — Noah Lyon on May 12, 2008 at 6:13 am

What is it and why is it here?
Is it God’s poop?
Who gives a shit.


To Do List

Lists — Noah Lyon on April 4, 2008 at 12:20 pm

1 – Borrow some stuff.

2- Throw it out.

3- Make more to do lists.

What’s up with stuff?

Poetry, Quote this and say a genius wrote it... — Noah Lyon on March 18, 2008 at 5:18 pm

What’s up with stuff?
Does it make you feel tough? Want to shove it in your muff?
Can you eat it? If it were a cookie? Hairy like a wookie?
Harry like Whodini? Where is it?
What’s up with stuff?

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