Doctor Ninja don’t review no commie poems!
He reads them on the underground metal dragon,
With the uplifting downtrodden,
People of New York City!

The prison diary of Ho Chi Minh was written between August 28, 1942, and September 16, 1943, when Nguyen That Thanh - alias Ngyugen Ai Quoc, alias Ho Chi Minh - was a prisoner of Chiang Kai-shek’s police in several of South China’s jails. It is not a “diary” in the Western sense, for it consists of 115 verse-quatrains and Tang poems in the classical Chinese style.

“In such men as Ho Chi Minh, the intelligence and sensibility are one. There is nothing secret in his public and private life. To him the sight of sight of suffering is a call for both action and to poetical expression.� from the Preface by Phan Nhuan

I found this lovely little paperback amongst pornography & old magazines at one of NYC’s finest street vendors. Find your way to this book or save your strength & let it find you!

“1. How did you first find out about Alleged? 2. What shows/times at Alleged were you involved in? 3. What was your favorite Alleged moment? 4. What was the “hairiest” moment or most sketchy Alleged moment? 5. How do you see Alleged as representing/symbolizing any specific moments in time?”

Brendan Fowler (aka BARR the rapper) emailed about seventy artists/scenesters these questions. I took the liberty of answering them myself. They might come in handy… if I ever put out a book out about all the cool stuff I did in the 90’s. If you like nostalgia, you’ll love this book. There are lots of photos too… pictures of what “cool art” & “the scene” looked like… way back when.

1. From 1992 to around 2002, I had no interest in what was happening in New York Galleries. I spent most of my time in the streets. Allegedly there was this gallery that showed street art. You could see that stuff by just walking around. I did a lot of walking around so I probably past it a few times but I never went inside. I was into drinking forties at Casualties shows, smokin’ blunts with Boot Camp Clik and all types of ill shit. One day Andrew Jeffrey Wright was tellin’ me something & I was barely paying attention… my mind was on food at the time… then I heard the word “Gallery” and left to go find a sandwich. That was the first time I heard about Alleged.

2. Mid 90’s I started working on this project at Dojo’s on St. Marks. It was really small space, just big enough to fit a toilet & a sink, so it was easy to put art up. It’s not there anymore but that’s how I was introduced to Barry McGee. He started doing stuff there too & I thought it was pretty sharp. I left NYC, end of August, 2001 cuz I was doing a lot of installations in galleries, art mausoleums… places like that. Did you know that some galleries don’t even have walls?!? Once I was in this cave in Ohio and saw these two dudes with huge beards. I was all drunk & said “WHAZZZ-UP?? ZZ TOP!!!� Then I thought to myself… “uh-oh… if dat ain’t dem uhma hafta get the gatz on”… but they ended up being really cool. That was the first time I met Chris Johanson and another guy with a beard. I didn’t really get involved in what Aaron was doing until the Beautiful Losers thing. Christian Strike emailed me a few times. Then he shook my hand at Beaver College. Anyways I wanted a copy of the show catalog and Christian said I could have one for half price, but that was still like 25 bucks so I said fuck it. Later I found a copy at the Strand for a lot cheaper. Anyways, back when Aaron started Alleged, I was really into zines. I used to hang out at Fat Beats a lot & found this dope zine called ON THE GO… shit.. All this reminiscesizing got me confused… what was the question again?

3. My favorite Alleged moment� Hmmmmmm. I had a print in this show & it was hanging in the bathroom. At the closing of the show there where all these girls waiting to pee & Jeffrey Deitch comes out of nowhere & starts yelling at them… “Get the hell out of here! Go take a piss in your own bathroom!�” I was kind of shocked, cuz normally Jeffrey’s all cool, calm & collected. After the smoke cleared I went into the bathroom & my print was gone! I thought maybe one of the girls stole it, but allegedly Jeffrey took off with it.

4. Chloe Sevigny & I were buyin’ some drugs from Duane Reade. It was really sketchy cuz Duane was at 14th St. & 3rd Avenue at the time. Anyways, I ended up getting multi-vitamins! I don’t even remember what kinda shit she got… it was a really crazy time. Another thing I remember… there was a lot of lettuce at David Aron’s wedding. It was at the top of this hill & there were hippies everywhere. Big trees ‘an shit… it was wild. It seems like where ever David is there are all these hippies hangin’ around. Man, those guys are hairy!

5. I ran into Stephen Powers the other day. He told me something that meant a lot to me at the time… “I haven’t seen you up lately… ya gotta keep bombin’, stay up!” Then he gave me an industry hug, hopped on his motorcycle and vvvrrrrhoooom!!! It was very symbolic. The good ol’ days were great and we’ve learned a lot since then. Some of us learned how to ride motorcycles and some of us learned how to stay out of jail. Most importantly… we’ve all learned that yesterday means something, even if we’re not sure what it is yet.

http://www.dragolab.it/ Paperback, 7 x 10 in./224 pgs / 100 color and 100 b&w.

Cauliflower Ass is possibly the world’s greatest living blues-man. Bob farts along on the trumpet while Cauliflower pours his miserable heart out with aid of his only friend … the guitar. I not sure how many strings the guitar has, probably one. One is the loneliest number. Stand out songs include “Call the Doctor” “Four Season’s O’ Misery” and “I Can’t Work”. Actually that’s just the first three tracks…I’m too deppressed to read the rest of the list. I just glanced at the lyric sheet. I hope I die soon. This will be a nice soundtrack.
Unavailable from: Wheelchair Full of Old Men P.O. Box 5418 Saginaw, MI 48603

Have you ever felt like a cog in the machine, like a baby robot pooped out by a technological overlord?
A million years in the future we shall all live in harmony! But wait you say, “I can’t wait a million years I want utopia now! Well if you want to change your life than this is the dvd for you! After just one viewing you will have the robots serving you! Instead of being a slave to technological going to work day in and day out getting a pixel tan. Let the robots do the work for you! Then you can sit back relax lax & get a real suntan! With just a single Fleshapoid you can be living the life you always dreamed of… bathing in jewels, looking at yourself in the mirror and making love to whom ever you please. But wait! You say, “Won�t it be weird having a funny looking robot around?” Have no fear! A Fleshapiod might be made of wires but then exactly like real people, but unlike real people they serve your every command! Get this dvd today and start your new life… in the lap of luxury.

Filmed in 1965. This film is up there with Kenneth Anger’s “Scorpio Rising” as the one of the greatest movies ever made. It proved to the world that you could make a modern masterpiece with no budget. I love the word bubbles that occasionally over lap the action. Totally Simpsons. John Waters cites this as his greatest influence “even bigger than The Wizard of Oz”. This is the Wizard of Oz of the 60’s, truly beautiful.

This also includes Kuchar’s THE SECRET OF WENDEL SAMSON, a surreal psychodrama of sexual desire and the entanglements of intimacy as well as THE CRAVEN SLUCK, a torrid tale of adultery and flying saucers. What more can you ask for???

http://www.othercinemadvd.com/fleshapoids.html

A touching story. Subtly depressing humor comics. “hazard” gave me six copies of this. 5 of them are currently available in Dr. Ninja’s Lending Library aka the bathroom. Email him at momoftheyear@gmail.com I bet he could sell that address to Rupert Murdoch someday.

The first draft of this review was basically a word for word transcription of the documentary. Since Noam Chomsky already wrote a book called Manufacturing Consent, I figured that was pretty pointless. You’ll learn more about the world from watching this 167-minute movie than you will from watching a billion hours of TV news. Or at least you’ll learn why watching a billion hours of TV news won’t teach you much about the world. I’ll make this brief so you’ll have more time to check out this mind-blowing movie. Noam Chomsky is a world-renowned scientist, linguist, media analyst and one of the harshest critics of American foreign policy. The New York Times called him “the world’s most important living intellectual” and when this film was released in 1992 he was the world’s most quoted living scholar. If you’re surprised that you’ve never heard of him it’s because you’re paying too much attention to sports. If you think Chomsky’s books are too wordy… well, here’s a movie… go get edujmacated, ya big dummy!

http://www.zeitgeistfilms.com/film.php?directoryname=manufacturingconsent

Fucking PRIEST!!! Wooooooooooooooooooooh! Yeah! Preist fuckin’ rules, man!!! Fuckin’ metal!!! Yeah! PRIEST!!! PRIEST!!! PRIEST!!! Fuckin’ Judas Priest!!! Yeah! Wooooooooooh!

I learned all of these things from watching this John Heyn & Jeff Krulik’s classic documentary. If you haven’t seen Heavy Metal Parking Lot or at least heard about it, you are probably lame. You either don’t like music or don’t like movies, both of which make life on this planet bearable. I guess that would make you beyond lame, it would make you some sort of alien. Now that I’ve alienated (literally) all the book worms (pun-intended) and blog readers (insert irony here) I shall continue my fuckin’ praise of fuckin’ Heavy Metal Parking Lot cuz it fuckin’ rules.

Since you’ve already seen it you know that it’s twenty minutes of interviews with kids getting trashed out of their minds in a parking lot, before a 1986 Judas Priest concert. It’s been bootlegged so many times…the first time I saw it was by renting a bootleg video. It was probably the only bootleg that you could rent. Videos like this are the reason youtube was invented. It’s something you see & immediately want to show you’re friends.

Heavy Metal Parking Lot is also the blueprint for American Idol. It’s people making fools of themselves while waiting for the “the big event” which, is in fact, more exciting than the big event itself. When you turn the camera on the fans they suddenly turn into the stars, singing and dancing they way their heroes do on stage. When they are in such close proximity to stardom, whether waiting on line to audition for American Idol or getting wasted in a parking lot, the fans go crazy. Take away the crazy fans and there is no show, no idols…no metal gods.

“Living after midnight, rockin’ to the dawn Lovin’ til the morning, then I’m gone, I’m gone…” some wasted dude singing that in Heavy Metal Parking lot is what got me into Judas Priest.

This DVD includes over two hours of special features including all the sequels: Neil Diamond Parking Lot, Monster Truck Parking Lot and Harry Potter Parking Lot. I think Harry Potter is my favorite sequel. There’s lot’s of other stuff too, like Dub-O-Vision: a tenth VHS bootleg version of the Heavy Metal Parking Lot. I loved watching it with it subtitles, it made classic lines like “My name is Grahm…like gram of dope!” all the more memorable. It’s hard to get past watching Heavy Metal Parking Lot over and over again, so there’s probably an hour’s worth of dvd I haven’t seen yet.

http://heavymetalparkinglot.com/

The Internet was created by hippies and the CIA on acid. Ted Kaczynski was friends with these guys cuz they were all in super-smart club together (Harvard). But they screwed him over by giving him bad acid & totally messing with his head, so he was like �fuck your math, I�m gonna live in a shack!� And when they least suspected it�BLAM! He got revenge, but nobody knew from who. If you don�t believe, me just ask him. He hates phones so don�t call him. He really hates the Internet so by all means DO NOT EMAIL him! He likes to correspond by mail though so you can write to him at:

Theodore John Kaczynski
04475-046
U.S. Penitentiary Max
P.O. Box 8500
Florence, CO 81226-8500

I watched this movie twice so far & I�m still trying to wrap my head around it. For one thing, it�s in German so the narrative involves a lot of reading. The are interviews in English but they are all with super geniuses & people who specialize in mind control so I�m never sure what to believe. Is a New World Order that�s uses technology to condition people�s minds to form a global utopian society a good thing? Utopia is sounds great, but mind control sounds scary. Do we create technology or does technology create us? Have I fully embraced cybernetics without even knowing it? Should I smash my computer with a tree stump or should I shoot the tree with my computer guided laser beam? Both of these options sound like a lot of fun.

Do machines control us? Lately, I�ve been spending more time with the Internet than I spend with actual people and when I spend time with people the Internet is always there in spirit. Whenever I ask my buddy Rob a question he replies: �I don�t know, I�m not the Internet�. The Internet provides answers to all life�s questions. But the speed at which the questions are answers is a bit unnatural, which raises more questions. Questions… that make me think faster. When computer run too fast they crash. Is technology our impending doom as the Unabomber suggests? Is doomsday, November 13, 2026, as mathematically theory suggests?

One guy in this film is really cool dude. He’s really old & he rocks a wheelchair, but he’s as sharp as a tack. He goes by the name of Heinz von Foerster. He is one of the architects of cybernetics & radical constructivism theory. When Lutz Dammbeck asks him about the consequences of creating a utopian reality based on a system that is ultimately flawed. He replies, �What is reality? Can you show it to me?� He�s the granddaddy of the Internet but he�s never owned a computer.

Lutz Dammbeck’s documentary explores some really amazing history, explains complex ideas and ties it all together with one of the 20th centuries greatest super villains! Two thumbs up for the NET: The Unabomber, LSD and the Internet!

Get the dvd here http://www.othercinemadvd.com/net.html
the website for the net http://www.t-h-e-n-e-t.com/

I left this book in the bathroom and now it is missing. Either “A”, it jumped down the toilet, “B” was “borrowed” by one of my roommates, or “C”. It was probably “C”. Speaking of “C” I’ve also noticed the disappearance of another cultural icon (yes, Zippy is a cultural icon) from the consumer paradise we call earth…Coke Black. I’ve never tasted this bubbly beverage but I am told it is a mixture of Coca-Cola and coffee grounds in a can. Some love it, some hate it. Zippy’s pal Griffy would probably hate it. Zippy however does not see the world in black and coke. He is a Zen master who asks us the question “Are we having fun yet?” while sporting his signature polka dot muumuu. He is also black and white and read all over, syndicated by King Features since 1986. As for Coke Black, it’s possible that Zippy drank them all. As for my copy of “Connect the Polka Dots”, I shall continue to look in my toilet bowl. A fool who persists in his folly becomes wise. Seek Zippy and ye shall find!

160-page color (48 pp.) and B&W 8 1/2” x 9” paperback $18.95 http://www.fantagraphics.com

Mmmmm…bagels. I wish I had a bagel right now. Ballpoint pens are weird. They are the tools you are forced to use throughout your grueling schooling. Whatever you use to indoctrinate children, they will ultimately use for mischievous rebellion. Make me write an essay in a little blue book and brand me a failure if I refuse? Well I brought my pen to class today & I’ll even take your stupid test. And while I write my essay I shall illustrate my points with marginal doodles. I’ll edit it by intensely scribbling out words so hard the paper will give way to the pressure of the ballpoint, rolling out pools of blue ink. Then I’ll use my pen to scrawl all over the desk. By the time I’m done with my masterpiece, the metal ball at the end of the pen will be so hot from the friction, it will feel like a laser has zapped you when you come to pick up my test and my pen “accidentally” touches your hand.

Given the adolescent medium upon which “Bagels are Gnarly” was based, I was hoping for more teen angst inspired drawings. Instead I was blown away by fantastic drawings with incredibly skilled rendering. My favorite piece was “Peace Sign” signed by Daniel Davidson (which Erik Parker purchased upon my advice). There are too many other awesome drawings to describe. Especially since I just spent so much time describing Davidson’s work. Lucky for you there is a catalog of the show. I haven’t seen it yet but I certainly hope it includes everything, not a small task given the number of artists in the show. There are also pictures of show on a few different sites, so seek and ye shall find. However, I will describe one piece, Paul Bright’s “list of phone numbers”. He really captures the essence of the contacts in his cell phone. It’s hilarious and a good use of the medium to boot.

There was one artist who drew exactly what I was looking for. It was none other than Gibby Haynes of the Butthole Surfers, the man who created the soundtrack to my teen angst years. As a matter of fact, during my “ballpoint pen period”, the sights & sounds of Gibby Haynes directly influenced many of my works. Not to mention my actions… I was kicked out of school numerous times for refusing to remove my Butthole Surfers t-shirt (which finally met it’s fate in a fire in the boy’s locker room, I was not there to save it, for I had been expelled). Gibby’s contribution to the show was a portrait of Britney Spears, signed “Love, Gibby” in girly script. Thus, my teen fantasy was fulfilled.

These are the scribblers responsible for making this show a great success:

Matt Leines, Phil Frost, Mark Gonzales, Tobin Yelland, Eric White, Tim Kerr, Taylor McKimmens, Masaki Kawai, Gibby Haynes, Doze, Dave Aron, Melinda Beck, Caroline Hwang, Kim Schifino, Jordin, Chloe and Simone Isip, Travis Millard, Jim, Casey and Ryan Gallagher, Ryan Jacob Smith, Erik Foss, Maya Hayuk, Dalek, Nick Kuszyk, Daniel Davidson, John Orth, Louie Cordero, Mel Kadel, Damian Weinkrantz, Julien Langendorff, Calef Brown, Rotgut, Neil Burke, Anders Nilsen, Gentry Densely, Arik Roper, Chris Mendoza, Jesse Reno, Jojo Li, Edie Fake, Mark Todd, Jeff Ladoucer, Steph Davidson, Marc Bell, Rick Froberg, Jocko Weyland, Bobby Puleo, Melanie Standage, Pandora Vaughan, Kylie Hays, Steve Ellis, Julia Rothman, Jeremy Taylor, Peter Jacobson, Adam Cantwell, Liz Zanis, Johnny, Phoenix, Jason Polan and his mom, Eric Shaw, Mike Taylor, Victor Timofeev, Shin Soma, Juju Delivery, Jennifer Robertson, Allyson Mellberg, Alfredo Melendez, Peter Thompson, Paul Bright, Jesse Kaufman, Mindy Abovitz, Shawn Reed, Goerge Ferrandi, Kelie Bowman, Diego Hadis, Rob Cartadetti, Laura Agulto, Kate Hurowtz, Brent Wadden, Bob Medina, Diane Barcelowsky, Mel Kadel, Rosie Cook, Justin Williams, Lisa Ramsy, Lindsay Packer, James Kirkpatrick, Russ Pope, Matt Bohan, Billy Sprague, Eric Shaw, Patrick Delaney, Sam Messenger, Mike Myers, Liz Lee, Randin and Rey Isip, Jo Dery, Jake Pruin, Malena Seldin, Jessica Ward, Jason Porter, Shane Butler, Irene Cho, Neil Popkema, Chickenhead, Sto, Jim Darling, James Brown, Koen Holtcap, Max Williams, Rick Charnoski, Lea Friedman, Jenna Rose Sands, Dan Weise, Kristen Cutlip, Torey Quinonez, Pax Americana, Pasquaie Lino Reca, Oliver Halsman Rosenberg, Melissa Ip, Irene Halsman, Andy Cvar, Daze, Gigi Chew, Sean Livingstone, Scott Mou, Chuck Bettis, Daniel Givins, Tom Messenger, Chris Keeler, Rebecca Hale, Kim Scarfuro, Spencer Herbst, Shane Williams, Ben Jenkins, Peter Van Hyning, F. Mathias Lorenz, Marie Lorenz & Andrea Maurer, Gregory Benton, Aaron Cantor, Carl Dunn, Rodger Stevens, Chris Shary, Caitlin Keegan, Jenna Robinson, Rob Leecock, Steve Bliss, Scott Ferguson, Amy McGrath, David Borges, Olivia Shao, Kevin Hooeyman, Rich Jacobs, Giles Lyon and Noah Lyon.

http://www.cindersgallery.com/ see some pics from the opening here http://supertouchblog.com/?p=2215