I’m going to attempt to do a psychic review of this record (A psychic review is when Doctor Ninja the Cultural Critic uses his power of spoon-bending, mind reading, psychic surgery and extreme knowledge to capture the spirit activity of something he has never heard, seen or even knew existed before it magically appeared in the RRReviews mailbox - the editor). MUDBOY, master of mush mixing has made a musical mess of midi files. A former floppy disc the song… wait… a name is coming to me…something with a J. Is it Jesus? Do anyone know a Jesus? No… wait there’s something else… he’s a carpenter. Hmmm… that definitely sounds like Jesus. Hold on… I’m getting another J. I’ve smoked a second doobie and the name is John. Wait… I’ve got it… scary music composer John Carpenter !!! But wait… I’m feeling something more here… something crunk. I’m hearing a little crunk… little… little John. The Extreme Animals side of this MUDMUX record is a song tribute to Lil’ Jon Carpenter!
Okay I’m holding side 2 of the record up to my forehead. It’s blue. It’s covering my eyes completely, but my hearing sees through it. My hearing is a little muddy though. I’m hearing something dark. Very dark. Like dark, dark. Like dark, dark, dark. Side two is a Mudboy version of a song by Dark Dark Dark !!! Wait, there’s more… the record is pressed on clear blue vinyl !!! My extreme knowledge tells me there are only 550 of these records. and they are being sold for $5.50 (US) from DNT records. My psychic powers tell me they will be sold out soon and someday will cost $550.
And there we have it ladies and gentleman… a Doctor Ninja psychic review, that always reveals what’s true.
The cover is a unique silkscreen poster by artists R.Lyon & Kevin Hooyman.
The kind of record I love… seven inches round, only 500 pressed, one sided clear vinyl with stamped white labels and a crazy sticker. Laser beams man… laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaser beams. Hmmm… this review is missing something, oh yeah, the music. Extreme Animals crush it as usual, crunk punk funk style. They punch up Dre Skull’s totally Technotronic track and jam crunk dust in all the cracks. More importantly they put Juiceboxxx’s vocals through juicer… peeling the awkward cadence, cutting the corn syrup rap and leaving plenty of pulp to get you pumped on the dancefloor… homestyle.
http://www.viciouspoprecords.com/
The Circle of Tyrants = Evil rapping cowboys from hell. What do rapping cowboys from hell sound like? Necro, Ill Bill, Goretex and Mr. Hyde? Fucking awesome! Straight up violent hardcore hip-hop, not hip-pop gangsta-wanksta crap. Think N.W.A, Kool G Rap, Geto Boys… cinematic scary shit that makes your parents wanna crap. Okay… maybe you are ten years old and your parents force you listen to Public Enemy for educational purposes and let’s say they have a sweet spot in their heart for old timey gangsta shit because it reminds them of simpler times� The good ol’ days before the terrorists were blowin’ up and Norwegian music was about wood, not killing each other over east coast / west coast black metal beefs. Well they’d better be strapped with pampers if they catch you listening to the satanic Circle of Tyrants. This features guest appearances by Igor Cavalera of Sepultura, Alex Skolnick of Testament, Matt Harvey of Exhumed, and Vinny Appice of Black Sabbath / Dio. It ain’t no limp dick biscuit rap-metal, this is fucking-metal-kill-you-die-die-death-rap… probably one of the most creative super group side projects since the Gravediggaz “6 Feet Deep” album. Horrifying music with beautiful lyrics. Necro plays violin on this record… how many rappers from the projects play violins on their albums?!? The boys got talent! And he fucking kills you! Circle of Tyrants. Buy it! Die!
NECRO STORE
Uncle Howie Records
Hey! Unnnngh! Let’s jam! (With noise in our minds). Back to reality… the cd just ended & next door someone screwing a screw just screeched a screeching screw sound. Total fucking power tools. How can you tell noise from other noise? That is the question. The carpenter next door didn’t have a bass. Eloe Omoe DOES have a bass (played by Sam Rowell). No drums from the sound next door, this has drums played by Tim Leanse. Some time ago, someone gave me an Eloe Omoe record. They told me it was drum & bass… I thought that meant it was techno music. Hmmm. Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. Sludge face bass and space weird drums. Who turned all the punks into jazz musicians? Bleeeeeeaaaauuuuuurrrg. plop. Bongo nut. I have trouble understanding noise on cd. CD’s just aren’t noisey. They’re not heavy, they’re CD’s. It’s a good thing I’m playing this through a funky guitar amp with the bass nob set to eleven. This is pretty heavy, thanks in part to it being recorded by super noise weirdo Jeremy Harris. Noise is subtle. I like this and I don’t know why. Not recommended for iPod listening.
Animal Disguise Recording #075 http://www.animaldisguise.com/
What if Ian Curtis was the lead singer of Extreme Animals… with Whoopi Goldberg on drums & Henry Rollins as a sexy cheerleader. Bad idea? Or great idea!!! Hmmm…
Red vinyl = 10 points. Songs called “Zima on your Tits” and “Escape from Dude Mountain” = 20 points. Chopped off head on album cover = 15 points. Lyric sheet = 15 points. Richard Pryor sample = 20 points. So far this Sexy Prison clocks in at 80 points.
Let’s just say this is the Rhode Island School of Design and I’m Professor Doctor Ninja, right about now this record is getting a “B”. Then I As I sip my TAB and ponder my notes, I recall my first impressions of “Italians Who Just Saw Rocky”…then I do some more pondering. The album title alone deserves a B+. Class dismissed.
SEXY PRISON = http://undietacos.org/sexyprison/
buy da record here http://tonevendor.com/item/15349
Some noisy shit you can shake your booty to on qualludes. Kind of like a farting deaf Peaches. Heavy bass with bleeps, boops & wierd shit in all the right places.
This collection of early/rare tracks from 1999-2004 includes songs from the “Triple X” cassette, the “Vixen Hott” and “Full Time” cd-r’s, and much more. Cover art by G. Beauvais.
Get ready electrodes… VIKI is the building (industrial factory) & she’s gonna make it shake like an earthquake!!!
Ten bucks from http://animaldisguise.com/
Check out her foxy rupert murdoch myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/wikedviki
The name says it all. Tune in to http://wfmu.org/ Tuesday nights for three hours of mirth, music and mayhem with your host Tom Scharpling. Do your homework and delve into the archives at http://wfmu.org/playlists/BS Try this one out for starters: February 10, 2004… the interview with Ty Clark from the 80’s metal band “Black Tyger” is priceless. GET OFF MY PHONE!!!
Skip this review. Reading about this doesn’t do it justice. buy it. watch it. show it to your friends… http://www.othercinemadvd.com/sonic.html
Within days after the release of Negativland’s clever parody of U2 and Casey Kasem, recording industry giant Island Records descended upon the band with a battery of lawyers intent on erasing the piece from the history of rock music.
Craig “Tribulation 99″ Baldwin follows this and other intellectual property controversies across the contemporary arts scene. Playful and ironic, his cut-and-paste collage-essay surveys the prospects for an “electronic folk culture” in the midst of an increasingly commodified corporate media landscape.
Speaking of corporate media… here’s what the press had to say:
“Gleefully Anarchic!” - Doctor Ninja, New York Times
“Baldwin conceptualizes history as a lurid exploitation flick” - D. Ninjaman, Village Voice
“Our sense of the shape of creativity and of originality must always be in question if we are to flourish. Sonic Outlaws does precisely that.” - Dr. Ninjitsu, Film Comment
Fucking brilliant!!! - Daryl Strawberry Ninja, Retard Riot Reviews
Sonic Outlaws features art, interviews and sound-bytes not only from media-manipulators Negativland but fellow intellectual property thieves; the Tape Beatles, Alan Korn, Doug Kahn, Emergency Broadcast Network and the Barbie Liberation Organization. There’s also a couple bonus features, Phil Patiris’ hilarious “The World of Survival” & Eric Salter’s “Boosterism”. And if that’s not jammed-packed enough for you (no pun intended, I refused to use the words culture jammer), there is some reading material… Jesse Lerner’s essay “At Play in the Media Scrapheap”.
buy this. watch it. show it to your friends… http://www.othercinemadvd.com/sonic.html
The album cover is by Jacob Ciocci. It’s pink. The music is also pink. And by pink I mean gay. Not happy gay either… sad gay. If I were Larry Flynt and this was a Jeff Gannon movie I would give it no boners up. It’s bleepy boopy music with songs about feelings. If you’re gonna sing about feelings you’d better have a guitar… a guitar with a fucking metal pedal. And your feelings better be about how Satan “rules” or how much you wanna kill the president. There is a skull on the inside of the cd (insert reference to compact discs sucking here). Crystal Understanding… skulls are tough why don’t you think about it?
When I’m in a bad mood I don’t like happy music. I like killer bad-ass shit. That makes me happy. Why does the caged bird sing? I’d rather listen to “Free Bird” ten times in a row than listen to this cd again. Listen to Lynard Skynard that’s some emotional music with out any mush-mouthed pussydom. I must be traveling on now.
http://crystalunderstanding.com/
All d�y I could feel the bre�th of S�t�n bre�thing down my neck. Ever since the m�ilm�n rang the doorbell this morning. What the fuck did he w�nt? Met�l? Rhyming met�l? Heavy met�l? How m�ny kinds of met�l are there? Pl�ugued by met�l questions, I sought met�l �nswers…
I consulted the Necronomicon but he d�rk lourde could not �nswers these questions. Suddenly a time traveling hologram came from the west… A spinning disc from outer-space with vinyl �f black and 333 on it’s face… a spicy met�l m�sh… Poopy and Food and the whole human race, rising from the un-dead, laughing with fear… three hundred and thirty three piece drum kits times two, pounding faster and faster like radioactive ooze… Guitar s�lo, guitar s�lo, guitar s�lo!!! A����������������������������������������hhh!!!
BREATHILIZ�R!!!!!! � new long playing record had swooped down from the blackest skies of Michigan, Ohio. A churning bl��dy mosh, � shrill scre�m and the world’s l�rgest bullet-belt… synth, s�mples and S�t�n… it’s �ll here. “We’re a nuclear holocaust with a electric guitars” qouthe the great Breathiliz�r.
If there was a battle of the bands between G.I.S.M. and Breathiliz�r, your mind would be so blown that you’d think your imploded brain had been sucked off by Satan. Then the universe would erupt in a battle royale and Fossil Fuel would be elected president, President of cum.
And all would be lost in the land of Stabasaurus Rex. In the fiery depths of hell Aliester Crowely would be taking a Breathiliz�r test to see if he could handle it. Only if you have the Black Plague should you attempt to fathom The Fallen Corn Messenger of Winter Doom VI : Return to Bobbler’s Index.
This demonic platter was released upon the world by http://www.mymindseyerecords.com/
Breathiliz�r can be contacted, by writing mystical Aliester Crowely words to:
P.O. Box 770212 Lakewood OH 44107 or P.O. Box 5418 Saginaw, MI 48603
Send ten dollars for some 666 if you know what I mean…
Send backwards tom messages to Poopy Necroponde at http://www.myspace.com/hellopoopy
