PAPER RAD – Uniform 7″

Art, Music — Doctor Ninja on April 25, 2007 at 7:31 pm

This is a 4 song 7″RECORD which means it’s the best thing I’ve been sent to review in a while. At Retard Riot Reviews all cd’s take a backseat while records get served up delicious on the freshest platters. I build towers out of all the cd’s I get and then knock then over while I listen to rad records. I’ma take this one song at a time folks…

EXTREME ANIMALS – guitar center punk
I went to Guitar Center for the first time in my life the other day. I usually find my instruments in the trash and Guitar Center was like diving into the ultimate dumpster. I jammed on a video mixer DJ set-up for hours… it fucking rocked! The equipment probably cost $10,000 but I didn’t have time to look at the price tag. I was too busy partying & blowing out the speakers.

FORTRESS OF AMPLITUDE – surfacing crown
Imagine your favorite heavy metal band…mine is Journey. Now imagine taking a journey to the beach. Isn’t it beautiful?

DJ JACKY JEXX – running free #1 remix by teddy b. and the bearington.
Most people don’t understand how to have fun, especially DJ’s… they are too serious. They’re always trying to figure out how to make people party properly. This DJ doesn’t do that cuz she doesn’t need to. Proper reviews compare music to other music so DJ JACKY JEXX is like CELLPHONE TUMOR PARTY but a little more light hearted. Did I mention noise & having fun? Yes… you CAN do both!

DR. DOO – dune tune #9
I just listened to this 10 times. Trying to put into words = math problem in my mind. I’ll probably listen to this a million more times. Math. Just Doo it!

Paper Rad - Uniform 7″

The Prison Diary of Ho Chi Minh

Books — Doctor Ninja on April 13, 2007 at 12:37 am

Doctor Ninja don’t review no commie poems!
He reads them on the underground metal dragon,
With the uplifting downtrodden,
People of New York City!

The prison diary of Ho Chi Minh was written between August 28, 1942, and September 16, 1943, when Nguyen That Thanh – alias Ngyugen Ai Quoc, alias Ho Chi Minh – was a prisoner of Chiang Kai-shek’s police in several of South China’s jails. It is not a “diary” in the Western sense, for it consists of 115 verse-quatrains and Tang poems in the classical Chinese style.

“In such men as Ho Chi Minh, the intelligence and sensibility are one. There is nothing secret in his public and private life. To him the sight of sight of suffering is a call for both action and to poetical expression.� from the Preface by Phan Nhuan

I found this lovely little paperback amongst pornography & old magazines at one of NYC’s finest street vendors. Find your way to this book or save your strength & let it find you!

Ho Chi Min


Art, Books — Doctor Ninja on April 12, 2007 at 10:36 pm

“1. How did you first find out about Alleged? 2. What shows/times at Alleged were you involved in? 3. What was your favorite Alleged moment? 4. What was the “hairiest” moment or most sketchy Alleged moment? 5. How do you see Alleged as representing/symbolizing any specific moments in time?”

Brendan Fowler (aka BARR the rapper) emailed about seventy artists/scenesters these questions. I took the liberty of answering them myself. They might come in handy… if I ever put out a book out about all the cool stuff I did in the 90’s. If you like nostalgia, you’ll love this book. There are lots of photos too… pictures of what “cool art” & “the scene” looked like… way back when.

1. From 1992 to around 2002, I had no interest in what was happening in New York Galleries. I spent most of my time in the streets. Allegedly there was this gallery that showed street art. You could see that stuff by just walking around. I did a lot of walking around so I probably past it a few times but I never went inside. I was into drinking forties at Casualties shows, smokin’ blunts with Boot Camp Clik and all types of ill shit. One day Andrew Jeffrey Wright was tellin’ me something & I was barely paying attention… my mind was on food at the time… then I heard the word “Gallery” and left to go find a sandwich. That was the first time I heard about Alleged.

2. Mid 90’s I started working on this project at Dojo’s on St. Marks. It was really small space, just big enough to fit a toilet & a sink, so it was easy to put art up. It’s not there anymore but that’s how I was introduced to Barry McGee. He started doing stuff there too & I thought it was pretty sharp. I left NYC, end of August, 2001 cuz I was doing a lot of installations in galleries, art mausoleums… places like that. Did you know that some galleries don’t even have walls?!? Once I was in this cave in Ohio and saw these two dudes with huge beards. I was all drunk & said “WHAZZZ-UP?? ZZ TOP!!!� Then I thought to myself… “uh-oh… if dat ain’t dem uhma hafta get the gatz on”… but they ended up being really cool. That was the first time I met Chris Johanson and another guy with a beard. I didn’t really get involved in what Aaron was doing until the Beautiful Losers thing. Christian Strike emailed me a few times. Then he shook my hand at Beaver College. Anyways I wanted a copy of the show catalog and Christian said I could have one for half price, but that was still like 25 bucks so I said fuck it. Later I found a copy at the Strand for a lot cheaper. Anyways, back when Aaron started Alleged, I was really into zines. I used to hang out at Fat Beats a lot & found this dope zine called ON THE GO… shit.. All this reminiscesizing got me confused… what was the question again?

3. My favorite Alleged moment� Hmmmmmm. I had a print in this show & it was hanging in the bathroom. At the closing of the show there where all these girls waiting to pee & Jeffrey Deitch comes out of nowhere & starts yelling at them… “Get the hell out of here! Go take a piss in your own bathroom!�” I was kind of shocked, cuz normally Jeffrey’s all cool, calm & collected. After the smoke cleared I went into the bathroom & my print was gone! I thought maybe one of the girls stole it, but allegedly Jeffrey took off with it.

4. Chloe Sevigny & I were buyin’ some drugs from Duane Reade. It was really sketchy cuz Duane was at 14th St. & 3rd Avenue at the time. Anyways, I ended up getting multi-vitamins! I don’t even remember what kinda shit she got… it was a really crazy time. Another thing I remember… there was a lot of lettuce at David Aron’s wedding. It was at the top of this hill & there were hippies everywhere. Big trees ‘an shit… it was wild. It seems like where ever David is there are all these hippies hangin’ around. Man, those guys are hairy!

5. I ran into Stephen Powers the other day. He told me something that meant a lot to me at the time… “I haven’t seen you up lately… ya gotta keep bombin’, stay up!” Then he gave me an industry hug, hopped on his motorcycle and vvvrrrrhoooom!!! It was very symbolic. The good ol’ days were great and we’ve learned a lot since then. Some of us learned how to ride motorcycles and some of us learned how to stay out of jail. Most importantly… we’ve all learned that yesterday means something, even if we’re not sure what it is yet. Paperback, 7 x 10 in./224 pgs / 100 color and 100 b&w.

Cauliflower Ass and Bob – Miserable Failures

Music — Doctor Ninja on April 11, 2007 at 2:28 pm

Cauliflower Ass is possibly the world’s greatest living blues-man. Bob farts along on the trumpet while Cauliflower pours his miserable heart out with aid of his only friend … the guitar. I not sure how many strings the guitar has, probably one. One is the loneliest number. Stand out songs include “Call the Doctor” “Four Season’s O’ Misery” and “I Can’t Work”. Actually that’s just the first three tracks…I’m too deppressed to read the rest of the list. I just glanced at the lyric sheet. I hope I die soon. This will be a nice soundtrack.
Unavailable from: Wheelchair Full of Old Men P.O. Box 5418 Saginaw, MI 48603


Art, Movies — Doctor Ninja on April 5, 2007 at 12:06 am

Have you ever felt like a cog in the machine, like a baby robot pooped out by a technological overlord?
A million years in the future we shall all live in harmony! But wait you say, “I can’t wait a million years I want utopia now! Well if you want to change your life than this is the dvd for you! After just one viewing you will have the robots serving you! Instead of being a slave to technological going to work day in and day out getting a pixel tan. Let the robots do the work for you! Then you can sit back relax lax & get a real suntan! With just a single Fleshapoid you can be living the life you always dreamed of… bathing in jewels, looking at yourself in the mirror and making love to whom ever you please. But wait! You say, “Won�t it be weird having a funny looking robot around?” Have no fear! A Fleshapiod might be made of wires but then exactly like real people, but unlike real people they serve your every command! Get this dvd today and start your new life… in the lap of luxury.

Filmed in 1965. This film is up there with Kenneth Anger’s “Scorpio Rising” as the one of the greatest movies ever made. It proved to the world that you could make a modern masterpiece with no budget. I love the word bubbles that occasionally over lap the action. Totally Simpsons. John Waters cites this as his greatest influence “even bigger than The Wizard of Oz”. This is the Wizard of Oz of the 60’s, truly beautiful.

This also includes Kuchar’s THE SECRET OF WENDEL SAMSON, a surreal psychodrama of sexual desire and the entanglements of intimacy as well as THE CRAVEN SLUCK, a torrid tale of adultery and flying saucers. What more can you ask for???

The Sins of the Fleshapoids - Mike KucharThe Sins of the Fleshapoids - Mike Kuchar

MR. BIV a story by zach “hazard” vaupen

zines — Doctor Ninja on April 4, 2007 at 9:15 pm

A touching story. Subtly depressing humor comics. “hazard” gave me six copies of this. 5 of them are currently available in Dr. Ninja’s Lending Library aka the bathroom. Email him at I bet he could sell that address to Rupert Murdoch someday.

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